Humans are strange. Seriously.

Brand new cereal! With extra yummy sin. Ask your parents for it!!



Scream until you're blue in the face!

The quizzy-thing has spoken.



I'm waiting for my compliment, Mal.

The folks Downstairs finally gave me my body back. I bloody told them I hadn't messed up my paperwork, they said they'd had a tip-off. I bet Hastur's trying to make my existence difficult again. The tosser.

Why's everyone bitching about it being so cold? The only ones allowed to do so are us reptiles. Try sitting in the cold without being able to produce your own body heat, then complain about it being cold.

Angel, where are you? I've got days worth of sex to catch up on.

Harkness, you're doing my paperwork. It's piling up.

Anytime you guys want to give me my body back, I'd be greatful. Seriously. Tossers.

So, the fucktards who do my paperwork screwed up because 'today is a very special day' and now they're keeping my man-shape on hold until they've sorted out my figures. That's really not on, I earned that shape. It's my favourite. They said it should be sorted in a couple of days, once they've finished partying. It bloody better be.

I'm hungry. Aziraphale, find me a rat or something or I'm going to eat the kitten.

Because most of you kiddies won't even know, tomorrow is Earth's six thousand and thirteenth birthday. It seems the only people who know this fact are the ..um..people who were there. I have imparted wisdom.

Be greatful tomorrow that the Big Guy got bored and decided that 'something was missing' in the Cosmos.

'Earth Day', my scaly arse.

I'm getting a little concerned about Luke's behaviour. I think he's got Post-Traumtic-Hell-Disorder. He spent a.... well, it's longer Down There than it is Up Here. Everyone be very, very careful what you say to him. The Seventh Ring isn't exactly the nicest place to spend a great deal of time, and he's started to get into the mindest of the good 'ol employees of Morningstar Enterprises.

Tread carefully. We'll have to keep an eye on him. I don't like where this could lead.

So.....tired.

'Why, yes, I'll look after that orphaned baby Naga while I look for a new mother', I said. Well done, Crowley, well done. I can't travel out of London. Hell won't let me, due to my 'bad work ethic'. Seen as the majority of the Naga people live in the Indian swamp regions, and they'd likely kill a none-serpent who went onto their territories, looks like I'm stuck babysitting more.

Joy.

At least she's relatively quiet. A bit of Parseltongue, a few strums on an acoustic guitar and she's out like a light.

Donna, Luke's here in Mayfair with me and the angel. Kid's been flat out since he got back. Don't worry, Azriaphale's handled all his healing, and he's keeping watch over him. Angels are good at that.

CROWLEY



Okay, okay, I get it, shove off.

Anyway, just so you know he's safe, and as close to sound as he can be in his condition.

Look, I found a strip club in San Fransisco.



Road trip, anyone? Think I can get a discount if I point out I'm the guy on their sign?

He's where he belongs, now. Should have done it the first time.

Here, Puppy, Puppy. Heeeereee puppy.

Now, in the 'My, That's Highly Disturbing' category:



We now return you to your scheduled programing. Carry on.

I agree with the she-male thing. If you lot are going to make private posts, at least have the deceny to give us some hardcore porn in them. Or a confession that you kicked a nun or something.

...Has anyone kicked a nun lately? I'm behind on work after the... incident and if someone could do that for me and say I tempted them to do it, that would be great.

I found some bookcases that can go in the flat, now that Aziraphale and his collection of book-children have moved in. They have to be trendy. I’m not having untrendy things in my..err our plush, modern dwelling. Aziraphale aside.
( Click )

Waddaya think, angel?

So I was watching the internet. An' that site with the videos and stuff. And I found

( thissss )

They made it into a freaking musical! A. MUSICAL. S'daft. I mean, I din' burst into song or anything. Especially not wearing a kicky little jazz number. Y'wanna know why?

BECAUSE I'M A SNAKE

Snakes don' wear clothes. S'lack of legs an' arms. S'daft. An' not that big, either, people always think m'big. Like an anana anaconn those big jungle snakes wot eat people. Or a python. Can' fit in a bloody apple tree if you're too big.

I miss Eve

You leave a kid alone for two bloody hours...

I'm going to look for the boy. Now. If anything has happened to him, if he's had even as much as a scratch, there will be HELL to pay.

Literally

Those that were the cause of this incident should give themselves a pat on the back. You've got my attention. I'll be dealing with you later

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.